50 prompts, 50 stories
by rocksaltbullet
Summary: 50 Jack/Kate drabbles from 50 prompts. Some happy, some sad. You know, the works. I'm going to try and post the new story every week.
1. War

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or its characters**

**A/N: This is a 50 prompt challenge that I have decided to do. I haven't done something like this before and I haven't posted any of my Jack/Kate fics here and they're my OTP so....here we are!**

**A/N 2: The stories aren't exactly related.**

_War_

It started with two men (one wore white, one wore black) and it continued for so long, she doesn't even know how long. What she does know, though, is that she wants it to end. She lost so much; she lost everyone she cared about. She's just so tired.

She likes to think she's on no one's side, just trying to survive. But sometimes she thinks that she's on the wrong side; fighting with the darkness not against it. That thought makes her feel even more hollow than normal.

She visits his body whenever she can. She doesn't cry anymore. She just stares at him, knowing it's her fault that he's the one lying in the cave dead, not her. She wishes she wasn't so selfish.

She places the rocks in his pocket (she pretends she doesn't know why they're so special, but she knows) and doesn't come back for days, months, maybe even years.

When she finally comes back, she's bleeding, dying. A gunshot got her after all this time. She crawls into the little nook (she knows what she's doing; she knows that she's going to find her own body) and just lies there, waiting for death to come and get her. But it's not the Grim Reaper who she expects to show up, it's Jack. And for the first time in years, Kate finally relaxes.


	2. Stand

**A/N: Thanks you guys for the nice reviews!**

_2. Stand_

Some people would think that it would be her that wouldn't be able to stand still, but, low and behold, he was the one that wanted to run. Standing here was hell.

He counted to five slowly in his head (_and you were so afraid_) but he still wanted to run. He just wished that she was here to tell him that everything was going to be okay and that he was overreacting (he had a knack of doing that sometimes).

He wondered if he had to count to five again when the doors opened and she walked through, looking as beautiful as ever. She was wearing her mother's old wedding dress, her hair in a messy, yet sophisticated, bun and had barely any make-up on. That's when Jack realized that he didn't want to run away, he wanted to run to her.


	3. Injury

_Injury_

He knew she was special the moment her soft hands touched his bleeding back. He couldn't explain it (can't, never will be able to), he just _knew_. He often wondered if she felt it too (probably not; why would she? He wasn't special).

They took care of each other after that, getting to know each other inside and out. He mustn't have been that hard (the leader; the _hero_) but she was quite a different story. He could never quite figure her out. That is until after they were kidnapped by the Others.

She needed him to do the surgery for _Sawyer_. He saw her with _Sawyer_. Everything was finally coming so clear to him; he was so blind. Now he knows. What he doesn't know though is what's worse: the fact that he did the surgery for her even though she was in love with another man or that everything hurts more now than it did after the plane crash.


	4. Invalid

**A/N:** Thank you guys so much for the nice reviews!

**A/N2: **Spoilers for 6x13 _The Last Recruit_. I wrote this after that episode but didn't post it because of computer issues. So this happens before last night's episode.

_Invalid_

She wonders when she wasn't valid to know what he was thinking anymore. He used to tell her everything. Now it just feels like she's finding out everything second-hand.

He didn't tell her why he wanted back to the Island so bad. He didn't tell her that he was looking for some lighthouse. He didn't even tell her that why he jumped off the boat. That hurt most of all. He didn't even say goodbye and now he could be.....She doesn't finish this thought. She refuses to think of the worst.

She thinks instead of when and why this happened. Was it after he left? Was it when they came back to the Island? Was it because he started thinking more about fate and destiny? Was it because she didn't tell him what happened to Aaron? Whatever the reason, whenever it happened, she just wants it to stop.


	5. Hospital

**A/N:** This one takes place in the alt!verse so don't get confused :P

**A/N2:** The chances of this actually happening is really small but whatever :P

_Hospital_

After the pregnant Australian gave her credit card, Kate wanted to get out of the hospital fast. The police could still be there, waiting to find her, to trap her. She needed out of there fast.

The only thing is she's never been to this hospital before. She has no idea how this hospital is laid out. She walks around a bit (not to quickly, mind you. She has had enough practice to make sure people won't be suspicious). She finds herself at a hallway filled with offices for the doctors. She decides to find a doctor and ask for directions to get out (doctors are always so trusting).

She walks down the hall, looking into the offices when she passes them. She comes across an office with a plaque with the words _Dr. Jack Shephard – Spinal Surgeon_ on it. Kate doesn't know why but her head starts hurting and fills with memories (they can't be memories though. They never happened).

The...flashes (she refuses to call them memories) show her lunches with a man in an office (he doesn't like dill pickles. She remembers her laughing at him when he picks them off the sandwiches she bought), they show her this man pushing a swing for a blond-haired boy, they show her walking on a beach, in a jungle, kissing this man in the jungle when they suddenly stop (she doesn't even get to see all of them). Kate then runs out the door with the big, red letters that spell EXIT above it (why didn't she see it before?).

It wasn't until she was sleeping in her motel room, dreaming of the flashes no doubt, did she piece together that this man (her hero; her _saviour_) was the man from the plane, the man with the luggage at his feet who made her world stop just for one second. When she wakes up, Kate decides that it's time for her to find this man and change.


	6. Transplant

**A/N:** Takes place in season 3.

_Transplant_

Jack decides that moping, mourning, whatever it is you call it, was useless. She doesn't want him; she didn't pick him. He isn't the man she wants. The more he grieves, the more useless he'll become (and who wants to be with a guy who's so useless?).

He decides that moving on with Juliet is a good idea. He's a doctor, she's a doctor. He hates the Others, she hates the Others. She seems to be easier to figure out too. It doesn't feel right though. It feels as if he's cheating on her. But Jack tries his hardest (he tries so fucking hard) to push those feelings down. He needs to find a way it doesn't hurt anymore; he needs a heart transplant.

Kate decides that it's time to move on; he clearly has. He looks so happy with Juliet (she was everything she wasn't; a good doctor that doesn't screw up). If Jack can move on, why can't she?

She decides that even though she only slept with Sawyer because she felt sorry for him, she'll make it work (who knows, maybe Jack will get jealous and beat him up for her). It works for a week until it just feels like she's trying too hard. She likes Sawyer, she really does, but it just feels like she's only drawn to him because he's a criminal too (not to mention that she's using him just a little). She wishes that she could genuinely like him and stop caring for Jack. She needs a heart transplant.


	7. Walking Wounded

**A/N:** Tomorrow, it all ends :(

_Walking Wounded_

Her shoulder hurts. That's an understatement. Her shoulder is radiating so much pain that she's surprised she isn't crying every second. She wants to laugh at how after all these years (running from the law, running on the Island, whichever), she has never been shot before. She doesn't know if this means she's lucky or she's unlucky (she's on a goddamn island after all).

Jack checks her every 20 minutes. She tells him she's fine but in reality, she wants to just lie down and sleep for days (she knows if she tells him this, he will make everyone stop and everyone will just sit there for what will seem like forever. She doesn't want everyone to stop because of her; they have work to do).

They meet up with Jacob who tells them that they're candidates for protecting the Island. Jack, of course, steps up to be the new Jacob. It would be a lie if Kate said she wasn't angry with him. He's just going to leave her like that? The Island is more important than her? She understands she can always stay on the Island with him but she gets the feeling this is more of a solo job, that the ones that you love will cease to exist and you live forever to protect the Island. She wishes that she could also be the new Jacob. She doesn't want to leave Jack behind, alone; who would look after him when he's walking wounded?


	8. Focus

**A/N:** Spoilers for the finale!

**A/N2:** How perfect was the finale? I'm still teary-eyed from the whole ordeal but everything was perfect and I don't think I wouldn't change it at all. Except maybe the ending but that's only because Jack's my favourite :P

_Focus_

There's a difference between _Jack's gone_ and _I'm never going to see Jack again._ There's also a difference between knowing which one is true. Kate's in a very special place; she doesn't know if Jack is dead or not and she doesn't know if it would be better knowing he was dead or if he was alive.

The other people on the plane give her space (too much space). She just wants someone to talk to her, even if she doesn't respond. She just doesn't want to feel alone anymore.

When they land the plane, people (lawyers maybe. Kate doesn't pay attention) ask them questions and Sawyer answers them all for the group (just like Jack). A person recognizes her from the Oceanic 6, "What horrid luck you have, girl!" she says. _You have no idea_ Kate wants to say but she still can't find her voice.

They live in the same house for a few weeks. Miles is the first to go. Then Richard. Frank leaves next, followed by Sawyer. Soon, it's just Kate, Claire and Aaron. Kate still doesn't talk and tries to stay away from both of them (she never realized how much they looked like Jack before).

She dreams and she screams. She just wants everything to go back to normal; she just wants everything to _end_. Until one night.

She dreams of Jack (this isn't new). He's on the Island, in a meadow, looking...peaceful. He tells her she needs to move on. _C'mon, Kate. I know it's hard but I just want to know that I didn't die for you to be miserable for the rest of your life. I want you to be happy. It wasn't all misery, remember?_ Kate wakes up gasping right at that moment. It's then she decides that she needs to stop focusing on the bad times (not to mention all of the what-ifs running through her head) and start focusing on all the good times Jack gave her.


	9. Fail

**A/N:** Thank you guys again for the wonderful reviews!

**A/N2:** This one takes place when the Oceanic 6 are off the Island so season 4/5 when Jack's all bearded.

_Fail_

He used to be a hero. He promised that he would help everyone get organized, keep everyone protected, get everyone rescued. He couldn't do anything of those. He always fails. But none of those matter now.

His job for the past three years has been to keep the Oceanic 6 safe, to keep Kate safe and happy. He couldn't even do that (he may have kept her safe but he can never keep her happy; can never _make_ her happy).

He's sure she thinks he's drinking more and taking drugs now because the guilt finally got to him (in other words, after 3 years he finally gives a fuck) but it's actually the guilt of letting her down that got to him. He's been feeling guilty about the ones he left behind since they left. He started drinking, started taking drugs, started to become a mess because he could feel that she was slipping away from him (or was it him that was slipping away from her?).

He started to grow a beard because, hey, if he's changing in the inside, why can't his appearance change? Maybe, if he changes enough, he'll become a new person, someone who's worthy of her, someone to keep her safe without feeling like he's letting her down.

He knows it's not like that, that nothing is ever that easy. He just needs to accept that he always was, always is and always will be a failure.


	10. Memory

**A/N:** Thank you all for the wonderful reviews again!

**A/N2:** Spoilers for the finale.

_Memory_

Jack's been gone for 6 months now. Six months since the rest of them escaped the Island for good. Kate's been in this place before, being off the Island but this time is different. Jack isn't here and that hurts too much. She doesn't let on how much it actually does hurt though.

She wears the engagement ring every day. It was one of the first things she did when they got back. After reuniting Claire with Aaron, she went straight to her (their) house, took out the engagement ring from her sock drawer and put it on. She hasn't taken it off since.

She doesn't live in the same house anymore (like hell she was going to live in a house full of memories). She lives about 10 blocks away from it. It's still too close for her liking. She really wants to live someplace other than LA, other than California but she doesn't want to change Aaron's life that much. She already told him that Claire was his real mother. She already made him move. She told him (countless times but it never got easier) that Uncle Jack wasn't coming back. And this time wasn't like the last where Jack was a mess and she wished with every ounce of her body that he would sober up and come home.

She spends most of her days just sitting in the house trying not to think of Jack (it doesn't work of course. She can never get distracted enough). She helps Claire with the laundry and listen to Claire go on and on about Aaron. She listens to Aaron ramble on about what happened at school that day. She's generally just a shell of what she used to be, just sitting there while everyone is moving.

On days where Kate doesn't think it could get any worse, she goes to the beach. She stands in the water and sinks. This is not only a beach to remind her of the Island (and Jack nonetheless) but this exact beach is where her and Jack went on their walks together, talking about everything and anything. This is where Kate really appreciates the memories.


	11. Survivor

**A/N:** I'm sorry this one took awhile to put up. This is my last week of school and next week is all my exams so I'm pretty busy.

_Survivor_

Jack Shephard has been through a lot; survived a lot. He's survived a plane crash, some crazy inhabitants of the island he crashed, a monster of smoke, time-travelled to the '70s and survived a hydrogen bomb. And that's only in the past 3 years. He has survived so much more.

He survived being the dorky kid at school, his father being hardly home and when he was, he was so drunk you couldn't get a full sentence out of him. He survived his parents' disappointment when he decided that he was going to be a pilot (but, of course, that's what made him change into wanting to be a doctor, a spinal surgeon, just like his daddy). But these survivals are nothing compared to other survivals he's endured.

Jack Shephard has survived many heartaches and heartbreaks. He has survived a cheating wife and a nasty divorce. He survived a woman who might have been playing not only him but his whole camp (he calls it his camp in his mind though he hates being called their leader). He also survived a woman who was the first to see him hurt, the first to hurt him in a long time and yet he kept on coming back. _She_ kept on coming back. He knows that he would probably be better if just stopped the whole thing; stop coming back, stop her from coming back. But he also knows that even though he might get hurt less if he stops this, his life will start to crash around him. He needs her and he just hopes that she needs him too.


	12. Exile

**A/N:** I'm done all my exams so now I can write these closer together now! Yay!

**A/N2:** This takes place after SNBH.

_Exile_

She waits a week for him to come back. She didn't banish him; he was allowed to come back whenever he wanted. She gets that he needs time alone but now she needs him (she hopes that he needs her too).

It doesn't bother her that he walked out (this is what they do. One of them walks away but they always come back. They've been like this for 3 years). It should though. Well, that's what Cassidy tells her. Cassidy tells her that she should be angry that he left and glad that he hasn't come back (yet). But she doesn't know what she's talking about; Kate does though.

Kate waits a week for him to come back. She spends a week expecting him to just walk through the door and kiss her passionately on the lips. He doesn't. After a week of waiting, Kate starts to get angry.


	13. Prisoner

**A/N:** Obviously takes place in the first 6 episodes of season 3.

_Prisoner_

As much as she hates being locked up, she's grateful that she has time to think. The last time she had to _really_ think was when she was at Ray's farm. The Island isn't exactly a great place to just sit around and think.

She thinks of everything; what the other survivors are doing, what the Others plan on doing to her, where Jack is, what Jack is doing (if Jack's even alive). She never entertains the idea of Jack being dead. He couldn't be. Jack's the hero (her hero), he can't die. He has to be with her 'til the end.

When Sawyer's asleep and she can't seem to fade, she has conversations with Jack in her head. She tells him everything that happened to her that day; tell him that she's scared. He tells her that he has a plan to get them all out of here and back to camp and pulls her close. It's then when Kate finally falls asleep.

While it's nice to have time to think, it will never be as good as the real thing. She has to get out of here.


	14. Criminal

**A/N: **Takes place wherever you see fit :)

_Criminal_

She was a criminal, he was a doctor. In normal circumstances (in civilization), they would never be together, never fall for each other, probably would have never met. Who would have believed that a plane crash made all those things possible?

This doesn't mean that everything is just perfect and happy. That can never happen for Kate. It was impossible for the universe to work that way. Things had to happen; things had to get in the way, had to interrupt them. And, of course, she can never fully escape her criminal ways.

If anyone asked her what the worst thing she ever did was, she will undoubtedly say "breaking Jack's heart". She still has that feeling in her chest, knowing what she did to him. She can tell he put it far away in his mind, trying to forget or maybe he thought it was useless to remember it now. It was useless. But the feeling never left her chest. It was just an everyday reminder that she's a criminal.


	15. Leader

**A/N:** Thank you again for the nice reviews!

_Leader_

In the first few days, everyone appointed him as the leader. He didn't want to be; hell, he didn't even know what to do. But they looked up to him and he wasn't going to let them down (he was alright with the responsibility, he just wasn't okay with everyone calling him the leader).

She was always beside him and though he'd never admit it, he liked it. He trusted her with things he didn't even trust with people back home. She was different and he loved it; he loved her.

After the first couple of weeks, they shared their first kiss. He stopped thinking for a few minutes and she ran off. He was going to call after her, chase her, something but his mother called him.

"David!"

Kate always told her son that he was exactly like his daddy. In fact, that's one of the first thing David had told his kindergarten class on the first day of school. Neither of them knew exactly how true that was.


	16. Power

_Power_

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be like Jacob, never aging, peaceful. He was supposed to have the power to leave the Island whenever he wanted and visit her. He was supposed to look forward to those visits with all his heart. He was supposed to be as happy as he could be. But nothing ever works out that way.

Instead, he had the power (was just like Jacob) for a couple of hours before he was stabbed by a monster wearing John Locke's face. He should have seen that something was going to stop them, something was going to get in the way again (once and for all). But he really thought everything was going to work out for once.

But as he lies on the jungle floor, waiting for death to come get him, he realizes that he only let down a little part of them (of him, of her). He still saved her, he still gave her a life off the Island, he still helped her get Claire off the Island and back to Aaron. Now that is the power he's been wanting for a long time.


	17. Illicit

**A/N:** Sorry I took so long to update. I've been pretty busy for the past week or so.

**A/N2:** This takes place after _The End_.

_Illicit_

She stays for a month. In this one month, she hears Aaron call Claire "mommy", watches everyone who came back with her leave, finds out she's pregnant (the tears she cried when she found out were both happy and sad) and realizes that she has no real meaning to stay anymore. So she leaves.

She's not supposed to though. She agreed to stay in state for 10 years (of course when she agreed to that, she never realized everything would be destroyed after a few short months). But when she finally crosses California's border, old habits kick in and her body screams home while her mind thinks of a house full of memories. She doesn't think she can do this anymore.

The cops don't notice she's gone until she's close to Phoenix. She still manages to not to get caught and for some odd reason, that doesn't relieve her like it used to. Maybe it's because she secretly wishes (hopes) they'll bring her back to the Island (back to him). She pushes down that feeling every time it comes up. It hurts way too much.

After 7 months, she turns herself in (she's 8 months pregnant after all. She can't run forever). They take her back to California where she faces jail time (where she faces the end). She doesn't get it though. Sawyer gets her out of it (he's a cop now. He says he pulled some strings and tells her to take care of the baby) and all she gets is a fine and another agreement that says she can't leave the state for 10 years (she wonders what Sawyer did).

She doesn't leave the state after that. Not even after the 10 years are up. She has a son now, one that is actually hers (and his). She wants to give him a good life.


	18. Temptation

**A/N:** I'm kinda losing my will to write. I'm still going to finish this little prompt thing but I don't know I just don't really feel...excited? I don't know how to describe but I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. Anyways, this might mean I will take longer to update or not. I'm just giving you a heads up.

**A/N2:** This one takes place in season 3, right after the _But I will come back for you_ chat in 3x13 _The Man From Tallahassee_.

_Temptation_

After he leaves, she's tempted to follow him. She knows that the door is unlocked and there might be at least 2 guards outside which she can either fight or sneak past. After that she can run to sub and climb in and go back to the real world with him.

Maybe he would stay with her and live a life with her. Maybe he would help her with her law trouble (or maybe he'll run with her). Maybe she'll finally get her happily ever after.

Who is she kidding? She'll never get a happily ever after. Plus, he was going to leave without telling them (without telling her). Why would he still keep her around in the real world? It's a good thing she didn't give in to temptation.


	19. Surrender

**A/N:** So, since I wasn't really feeling for this series anymore, I decided to take a little break. But I'm back now with a new addition and hopefully more soon! Yay! And, again, thanks you guys for all the wonderful reviews.

_Surrender_

She has had walls up for the majority of her life, never letting anyone see the real her, never letting anyone know who exactly she is. Some people have gotten close but in the end of it all, she shuts them out. Some people think they know her inside and out but really, they just know someone else (like Monica. Or Annie. Or Maggie. Or Joan. Or...whatever). The point is that no one really knows the real Katherine Anne Austen.

But he has been wearing down her walls since the first day. She didn't even notice it until one day when something just clicked. He's working his way through her walls and she's pretty sure that he's getting close to the real her. This scares her more than it should.

She decides that the best way to shut him out is to spend more time away from him. It works for awhile until she realizes she misses him, realizes that this little stunt is more about distracting herself than shutting him out. It's then when she just surrenders and lets her walls fall.


	20. Protection

_Protection_

He knows that she doesn't like being protected (actually, she doesn't like it when it's very clear that she is being protected) so he tries his best to make sure she feels independent. This one of the first things he learns about her (but it took him longer to stop treating her like she needed protection all the time. He just wanted to be her hero).

So, when he takes Jacob's job, he says it's because the Island is the only thing he hasn't screwed up (which is both true and false), _not because he's protecting her_. He just doesn't want Kate to be a part of this anymore. Jack doesn't believe she's not anymore like when t Jacob says so (he'll believe it when he's "Jacob" and he says it himself).

He just hopes that she won't actually know he's just protecting her.


	21. Manipulation

**A/N:** Takes place around 3x17 – _Catch 22_.

_Manipulation_

She doesn't trust Juliet. She doesn't trust any Others so why would she trust Juliet (she doesn't buy Jack's "she's one of us" speech)? She knows how much Ben can manipulate so why can't Juliet (there must be an Others 101 – _How to Manipulate_).

Kate's positive that she's manipulating Jack, telling him things that aren't true, making sure he'll stay away from her (Jack only spends time with her when he can't avoid it). She knows it could be just because she broke her heart but it's just the way how they're always sitting in a distance, talking to each other... it bothers her.

One day, Kate's going to show that Juliet can't be trusted (and maybe then Jack will see how she manipulated him).


	22. Under the Influence

**A/N:** This is going to be my last one for a week or so since I'm going away tomorrow and won't come back 'til next Saturday. I'm not sure if the cottage I'm going to has wireless or not but if there is, I'll update :)

**A/N2:** Takes place right after the fight in SNBH, around _Exile_ and before _Failure_.

_Under the Influence_

He's drunk most of the time. When he's not, he wants to be (everything hurts too much when he's sober). He never meant to hurt her but the guilt, the hallucinations and the pain that started to wear him down started to get too much for him (they were always there, always waiting, since they got back).

He tried pills to get rid of the hallucinations but that just made the guilt even stronger (he thinks it's because there wasn't anything yelling at him). He tried to just do nothing about it but everything just intensified. He tried drinking his problems and...it worked (he wonders if this was why his dad drank so much). So, he drinks because it works.

He visited her one day, two weeks after the fight. He wanted to go back to how things were (how things were supposed to be). She didn't even let him inside. She told him to leave and that maybe next time he should come back sober. He was sober. Maybe he didn't take a long enough shower, maybe he didn't clean his clothes enough, maybe he didn't brush his teeth good enough (maybe he just shouldn't have tried). He left like she said and hasn't been back since (it adds to the pain which, consequently, makes him drink more). He wonders if he'll ever stop drinking.


	23. Can't Stop

**A/N:** I'm back and with a new addition to this series!

**A/N2:** This takes place after _The End_.

_Can't Stop_

She spends the first week either lying in bed or lying on the bathroom floor. Everyone knows why but they never say it aloud (a part of her wants at least one person to say his name so she knows she's not the only one who remembers; another part wants no one to say his name again). After this first week, she promises that she'll stop thinking about him.

It doesn't work.

A year later, she has a son. She names him David and she loves him so much. He looks so much like _him_ (she still never says his name and when people around her do, they act if she might break at the sound). She spends her time either with David or doing stuff for David (it reminds her when she was taking care of Aaron but this time, she doesn't feel like a horrible person). She promises when David's 6 months old, that she won't spend more time thinking about _him_ and the what-ifs that run through her head if he was with them.

It doesn't work.

She's 84 when she's put in the hospital (where she's expected to die). She laughs at the fact that she's going to die at 84, numbers she's hated for so long. David visits every chance he gets (if he looked like _him_ when he was baby, then he definitely looks like him now). Claire comes once in awhile with Aaron. Sawyer sent her flowers, saying that he was sorry he couldn't visit her (she notices that his handwriting is getting shakier). Everyone else is either dead or they lost touch. Kate doesn't mind it so much.

When she actually dies, she's alone in her room. She spends her last few minutes thinking about him. She says Jack for the first time in years and it makes her cry. To people on the outside, she died alone but to her, she died with him. She's never been so grateful that she never stopped thinking about him.


	24. Distant

**A/N: **Takes place in season 2

**A/N2:** I made Jack kinda clueless in this but I think he sorta was with Kate and her feelings about his feelings in the show :P Kate too of course.

_Distant_

She's been distant from ever since the tailies joined their camp. He doesn't understand why, they're just a couple more people to look after. She comes to talk to him about Ana Lucia and that's when Jack gets it: she's worried that these people are Others. He thinks he finally understands; she's always worrying about others' safety.

She's been even more distant from him ever since they kissed. He doesn't blame her, he's awkward too (but at least he doesn't have to deal with Sawyer). He doesn't want to scare her off so he stays away from her as much as he can. When they're finally by themselves after what feels like months, she says she's sorry that she kissed him and he faces a decision: should he go along with the ride to make everything go back to normal and stop having Kate so far away or should he tell the truth and hopefully, _hopefully_ maybe something could happen? He tells her the truth. And Michael interrupts.

He's sure she would be more distant if these were different circumstances. Michael's back, Ana Lucia and Libby were killed by the Other they captured and they're about to go after him. She might be standing beside him but she hasn't _really_ talked to him in what feels like ages. He thinks he should do something, something to clear the air. But, again, the circumstances don't really call for that so he waits.

He wishes he didn't wait when the last thing he sees of her is her having a black cloth in her mouth before a bag goes over his head.


	25. Watching

**A/N: **Sorry I took so long to update. School starts for me tomorrow so I've been getting ready. This also means I might not update as frequently but I will try.

**A/N2:** I also don't really like this one so, sorry . I didn't really know what to do with this prompt but it is pretty fluffy.

_Watching_

For the first week they were together after they got back from the Island (before her trial, before he knew the truth about Claire, before a lot of things), Aaron would always stare at Jack. Always watch what he was doing. Kate always said that it just meant that he was fascinated with Jack. Jack believed it at first.

He started to think that Aaron didn't like him after a few days though. He would cry when he was alone with Jack, freak out when Jack got too close to Kate, it was definitely one of the biggest challenges Kate and he ever had to face. Kate still said that Aaron just didn't understand.

Jack finally believed that Aaron liked him after he heard Aaron giggle for the first time since they left the Island. Kate was right of course (but don't tell her that) when she said that Aaron didn't understand at first. He heard Aaron giggle for the first time when Aaron saw Kate and Jack kiss for the first time in front of him.


	26. Song

**A/N:** btw I have no idea how Does Your Heart Beat For Me actually goes. I just picked a random Patsy Cline song :P

**A/N2: **Another sad one unfortunately. I'm not that good at writing fluffy pieces :P

_Song_

Jack found out that Kate loved Patsy Cline during the first month they lived together. He laughed at her but pretended that he hated it every time she put it on (she'd always playfully hit him every time). But after awhile, he got used it and Does Your Heart Beat For Me quickly became his favourite song (she found this out 2 weeks before he purposed and teased the living hell out of him).

She hears this song almost everywhere she goes when they get back from the Island for good (one time she broke down crying in the middle of the grocery store). She starts hating this song after a week.

Claire tells her that it means that he's watching over her and that the song should make her happy (she pretends she agrees but really, she hates the song with the every fibre of her being). She doesn't hear the song again after she finds out she's pregnant.

She hears it again after 9 months after she gave birth to her son, David, on the PA in the hospital. She starts crying and realizes that Jack is watching over her.


	27. Not Alone

**A/N:** So sorry that I haven't updated in awhile! School has been very busy but I'm back now!

**A/N2: **Just a reminder, in my version of what happened after the Island, Kate went on the run a month after she found out she was pregnant (_Illicit_).

_Not Alone_

She's never been pregnant before so she wonders if it's normal to have hallucinations almost all the time. She knows that pregnant women usually have bad dreams (Claire's the perfect example) but hallucinations? She's sure that's not normal.

She sees Jack of course. He doesn't do much but just stand wherever she sees him (in a grocery store, a diner, a motel room, it doesn't matter), staring at her. He never says anything and she never says anything to him either (she's pretty sure that she would break down if she officially acknowledges him). But even though she'll never fully acknowledge him, she likes seeing him everywhere, although it makes her want to cry all the time. It makes her feel less lonely.

She sees him everywhere for her whole pregnancy, right up to when she gives birth. After she holds her son for the first time, she never sees his hallucination again (but she does see him in her dreams).


	28. Possession

**A/N:** I'm so sorry I took so long to update! 3 of my classes had projects due this week so I was quite busy. I hope school doesn't do this for long!

**A/N2:** I just rewatched season 1 so be prepared for some season 1 memories.

_Possession_

He still has the sling that she made him. It's been months since he dislocated his shoulder but he still has it. It's in his pile of clothes. He's planning on taking it when they leave the Island (he never gets the chance to. He leaves so suddenly and, truth be told, it was the last thing on his mind).

But when he gets back to the Island (and back to the right time), he finds it still in his clothes pocket in his old tent. Sure, it's has more dirt on it but it's still there and that matters. He promises himself that when (if) he leaves again, he'll bring it this time.

The first gift that Jack ever gives her (besides a fresh start) is a bunch of guava seeds. The first thing she buys herself when she leaves the Island forever? A package of guava seeds.

People seem to think that she's finally letting go, finally moving on. They think that this means that she's going to focus on gardening instead of sitting there and staring. Oh, how wrong they are.

Claire holds on to peanut butter and she holds on to guava seeds. They're a good match.


	29. Past

**A/N:** This one is pretty different from my other ones.

_Past_

Their lives crossed before the crash even though they don't remember.

They first met when Jack lived in Iowa for a year (his father worked in a hospital there before he got transferred to LA). Every time he had to wait for his father to finish working, he went to one of two places: the cafeteria or the kids' ward. One day, there was a brown-haired, green-eyed girl in the kids' ward with a broken wrist and had the biggest, most contagious smile in the world. She had the most beautiful laugh and Jack just wanted to play with her forever. It wasn't until he left that he realized that he never got her name. She wasn't there the next time he went to the hospital.

He visited New York before his final year of med school. On his first subway ride, there was a woman wearing sunglasses who pushed him out of the way when he was walking on. He had to stand pressed up against her too because the subway was so crowded (it was 5 o'clock on a Friday. Why did he decide to try the subway now?) and she kept tapping her foot and looking around and she smelt like she ran for blocks. When the train actually started moving, cops were on the platform looking every which way for something (_someone_) and Jack could've sworn he saw her smirk. When the train reached its destination, the woman pushed everyone of the way again (she pushed him into an old lady) and started jogging away again. He wondered why she always seemed to be in such a hurry.

She doesn't know how she got Mars to let her go to the bathroom unattended (he must have made sure that none of the windows opened and that there was only one exit, which was the case. She also didn't have anything to undo her handcuffs). When she walked out of the bathroom (with her sweater over her cuffs), she ran right into a man in suit. He seemed distracted since he never looked at her (which is good because the hit made her handcuffs visible) and the sorry he mumbled sounded as if he was distressed. A part of her wanted to ask him if he was alright but he was already walking away and Mars was pulling her towards the security office. She forgot all about the man in the suit (especially when Mars started talking about Tom).


	30. Rumour

**A/N: **So I know that I say this pretty much all the time, but I am sorry that I haven't updated in awhile! I had a huge project due this week and I pretty much spent all my time on that. One day though, I won't say this every time :P

**A/N 2:** Thanks again for all of you that read and review even after I don't update in weeks and apologize every time!

**A/N 3:** This takes place in s1/s2. Pretty much any time before s3. Also, no angst! Yay!

_Rumour_

Jack's good with rumours. There were rumours that he was dating Shelly McDonald in grade 8 (they had an awkward kiss _once_ and that's it), rumours that he was cheating on his cheerleader girlfriend with the nerdy girl that sat by herself in high school (he just thought she was lonely so he talked to her) and the rumours even followed him after high school.

When he started working at St. Sebastian's, people thought that he was getting special treatment because his father was the Chief of Surgery. But every time a rumour propped up, he always knew how to deal with it.

This, of course, doesn't exclude being stranded on an island. It seems that if someone has nothing to do, they'll make up some sort of rumour. Like the rumour that he and Kate are...together. That's not true. It's definitely not true. It's Kate for goodness sake. Not that he wouldn't want her or anything. It's just...okay, maybe he's not good with rumours involving him and Kate.


	31. Silence

**A/N:** Wow, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in over a month! It's been very busy. Not only did I have school but I had some family problems that cropped up. And since you lovely people had to wait for over a month, I'm giving you TWO chapters/prompts to make up for it! :D

**A/N 2:** This takes place practically right after everyone comes back from the Island.

_Silence_

The first thing she notices when she's back is how quiet her house is (she doesn't call it home anymore. It doesn't feel like it).

She's used to sound whether it be her mother groaning in pain, a truck going by her motel room, the wind going through the palm trees or Aaron just making a ruckus. The fact that a house could be so quiet seems unnatural to her.

People are in her house though, scattered in different places. They don't make a sound though. She's positive that they don't because they think she'll shatter at sound; that she finds comfort in the silence.

She doesn't.

They wonder why she spends so much time lying on the bathroom. It isn't because it's cold or that she doesn't have much memories of him there (she does. She has so much memories of him in every room); it's because everything echoes. Her cries, her screams, everything.

She wonders how long she can last before the silence suffocates her.


	32. Sound

**A/N:** Some fluff to go along with the sadness!

_Sound_

She's a light sleeper, he knows that. That's why every time he comes home late, he always makes sure he's as quiet as possible since she wakes up at every sound. He always manages to wake her up.

Sometimes when he gets up to their room, she's sitting up in bed, sometimes she's sitting on the stairs waiting for him, sometimes she's leaning on the couch, sometimes she even opens the door for him. He never knows what he does that wakes her up but it doesn't matter. She's always there with a sleepy smile on her face; she's always there to give a sweet kiss before making him go to sleep.

It's always in those few moments where he's happy that he's never completely quiet.


	33. Plan

**A/N:** Again, I'm sorry for the lateness but January is always busy for me because I have culminating tasks and exams to do. But I have a little break right now and this one has been in my head for awhile now so here it is!

**A/N 2:** Takes place after the proposal in SNBH.

_Plan_

After about half an hour of kissing and tears of happiness (mostly from Kate), they fall back in bed and she curls up to his side even though he's still in his suit.

"I want a small wedding."

"I don't think we know enough people for it to be a big wedding," he replies and she laughs because it's true; she can only think of about 4 people they would actually invite: Hurley, Sun, Sayid and Jack's mother. She's not even sure if she would invite her own mother. She wouldn't invite Cassidy because she's not sure if that would be right. But maybe Jack has some coworkers or friends he would like to invite.

But there's something off about Jack now. He doesn't seem as happy as she thought he would be. Or maybe she's just so ecstatic herself that it seems that he isn't that happy.

"You know, we should get married on a beach."

He chuckles at that and she smiles with him (she's definitely wrong about him not being happy).

After about 10 more minutes of making jokes of where they're going to get married ("what about in some caves?" "what about in a creepy old hatch underground?" "what about in some old zoo cages?"), Jack falls asleep, leaving Kate to think by herself. She mostly thinks where they would go for their honeymoon. She can't picture them going to some tropical island; they'd probably go to a place with lots of people like Rome or London or Tokyo. They're going to have to wait ten years before leaving the state though. But maybe for right after the wedding he would take her to a cabin somewhere or maybe they go to a fancy hotel somewhere. It doesn't matter though. They have lots of time to plan things out.


	34. Escape

**A/N:** Post-Island again

**A/N 2:** Kinda, sorta goes against _Focus_ but not exactly :P

_Escape_

For years, her dreams were nightmares. In fact, she doesn't remember the last time she had a nice dream. Maybe it was when she was a kid and she had dreams that she and Tom were just drive away and get married and have a hundred kids (and as the years went by, the more she realized that wasn't her life). Whenever the last time she had a good dream was, it doesn't matter; she only dreams in nightmares.

When she was on the run, all she dreamt about was getting caught, being locked up. Sometimes, her dreams would feel so real, she'd believe it until she woke up with a gasp. When Tom died (killed, by her), her dreams were just reliving his last moment over and over again. She had that dream for months. Those were the years that made her stay up for days at a time.

On the Island, her nightmares still came. Sometimes she'd dream that the whole Island was a dream and she's actually in a prison somewhere. Sometimes she'd dream that she was actually dead, that this island was her hell. Sometimes she'd dream that everyone from her past would just show up at the beach and torment her, haunt her (beat her). As time went on, her dreams (nightmares) changed to what was going on around her. She'd dream of the Others coming, burning down their camp and taking the women. She'd dream of the monster hunting her down in the jungle. She'd dream of Jack dying, of Jack being captured, of Jack going missing. She always hated those dreams the most.

Now, Jack's actually gone. She's back to civilization for good. Nightmares still haunted her for the first few months she was back (it was like Tom but worse, _much_ worse). Her first dream, that wasn't just memories overflowing in her mind, was her back on the Island. She's running around the jungle, the beach, the caves, the hatch, everything, looking for something but she never finds it (and she didn't even know what she's looking for). This dream frustrated her to no end.

Until she finds what she's looking for: him. What else would it be? She doesn't remember how she found him or how many dreams it took, but she found him and now every night when she sleeps, she's with him. It's now for the first time in years that her dreams let her escape from her reality and she's happy about it.


	35. Run

**A/N:** Fluff! Takes place _before_ SNBH.

_Run_

This is the most natural thing to her. It feels good; it feels _right_. She can feel sweat gathering and forming. The only thing she can hear is her steady breaths. She doesn't need to see anything around her; she just needs to sense it. It's exhilarating. It's just her in her own little world.

"Kate, slow down!"

Of course, she was so in her own world she forgot she brought Jack on her run.

"It's not my fault you're so slow!" She yells at him when she stops and turns around.

"Well, I haven't run since the Island so excuse me if I'm not running like I used to," he says when he finally catches up with her. She can't help but smile (he looks so cute when he's out of breath).

"You're just mad that I'm faster than you."

"Oh, you're right, Kate. You are _so_ much faster than me."

"Well, you should acknowledge that because last one to the ice cream parlour buys."

She runs off as soon as she finishes the sentence. Of course, she beats him and he has to buy the ice cream and she doesn't stop teasing him the whole way back (she slows down so they could run together).


	36. In The Night

**A/N:** Takes place when Jack was living with Kate (whether it's before or after the trial, you can decide. Yes, I do believe that Jack lived with them before he knew who Aaron was).

_In The Night_

They tell each other stories at night when the baby is asleep. They never talk about the Island unless needed. Instead, they tell stories of their past before the Island. She tells him that her best friend when she was a kid (_the man she loved_ she once called him) was a boy named Tom and he became a doctor (he says she must have a thing for doctors and she always blushes). He tells her that he met his best friend because he was getting beat up and he wanted to help (_so you're telling me, you've always been a hero_).

He tells her that he was married but she cheated on him and then left. She tells him that she was married too but her fugitive instincts kicked in and she couldn't stay (he laughs when she tells him he was a cop. She can't help but laugh too).

She never tells him that her step-father (she never tells him he was her real father either) beat her mother and sometimes hit her too. He never tells her that he hated his father when he was kid so much that he almost ran away four times (there's just some things you don't mention).

These are the times that make her love night time when before she was always scared of it. These are the times when he realizes that the night is important too. These are the times they both cherish.


	37. Punishment

**A/N:** Basically takes place when Jack is all bearded out. Also, I watched the s4 finale today so this was kinda inspired but that.

_Punishment_

She knows Jack and she knows guilt. She knows that if you combine the two, it can be disastrous. She knows that he takes to punishing himself too much of the time. And she hates it.

Even when they met, he was punishing himself. Off to side with no one around (with no one to help) with a bleeding back. He couldn't have known that she would walk out of those bushes to stitch him up. She wonders if he was punishing himself, as if he didn't deserve help even though she can just picture him running through the wreckage helping every single person he can find.

But this...this is different. This isn't just walking away to bleed out, this isn't trekking through the jungle with a wound just to save them all. This is changing into a complete different person because the overwhelming guilt is just too much. This is something she has never experienced before (this shouldn't surprise her though. She has experienced so many things she hadn't before thanks to him).

When she sees him with a beard and reeking of alcohol, it feels like her stomach drops ten feet. Her hero, her saviour, her _Jack_, is a man she barely recognizes (at least he still has a little bit of the hero aspect in him).

After they barely talk idle chit-chat (about Jeremy Bentham), he breaks her heart even more and she feels like she's going to vomit. This isn't _her Jack_; this is some fucked-up monster pretending to be him. And it kills her.

She wants to tell him that it isn't his fault; he wasn't the one that made the Island disappear, he wasn't the one who set the bomb off (once upon a time all he needed was her words and he'd be okay). She wants him to just stop punishing himself and come home with her. She wants him to be Jack again.


	38. Argument

**A/N:** I'm sorry I haven't updated in about a month. Been busy again. So I come bearing a fluffy piece as an apology to you guys :)

_Argument_

Their first official argument they have when he changes his mind (_when he's here_) is about ice cream. Yes, after all that time on the Island, arguing who had a better shot, if he should go out in the jungle with wounds (which he always seemed to do), whether or not if they should lie to the world about the Island, they argue about ice cream.

He has the decency of saying that vanilla is better than chocolate. How could he even say that? It's like he's never even had chocolate in his life.

She tries to get Aaron to agree with her to win the argument and he says she's cheating, says of course he's going to agree with her because he's only three and he hasn't "developed a good taste yet" (his words, not hers).

After 10 minutes of arguing, Jack's tickling her on the couch. She can't remember how it happened and, damn, she doesn't remember being this ticklish but there they are, on the couch with Jack on top of her, tickling her sides, her laughing so hard she's crying and Aaron is giggling off to the side. She wishes all their arguments will be like this.


	39. Hindsight

**A/N:** I'm sorry I haven't exactly been updating a lot. My writing muse has not been cooperating. It's been all over the place really. I've started 2 new fics since my last update, rewrote the second part to _Nothing Goes As Planned_ several times and keep fooling around with this post-Island!Kate fic that I've been working on since about last August. I just can't seem to get anything sound the way I want it to. It sucks and very frustrating. Hopefully this update doesn't show that! Even though I wrote 3 different drabbles for this one prompt because I wasn't happy with any of them

**A/N 2:** I started season 5 on my rewatch this week and just finished _Whatever Happened, Happened_ so this takes place in that!

_Hindsight_

In hindsight, maybe going to Cassidy and becoming her friend wasn't exactly a good idea. She could have just dropped off Sawyer's money and then be on her way, never talking to her again (it would be hard but that seems like that would have been the better choice). Sure, it was nice to talk to someone about the Island that wasn't an Oceanic Six but there were definitely some problems.

For three years now, Cassidy has been projecting her Sawyer problems on Kate. She hates to say it, but it's true. Sure, she cared for Sawyer but she wouldn't say she got her heart broken when he jumped out the helicopter. But Cassidy seemed adamant that this was the reason that she kept Aaron and Kate had to start wondering if Cassidy was aware of the fact that she was projecting and that these weren't Kate's feelings at all.

It doesn't help that Cassidy didn't approve of Jack either. She doesn't know why Cassidy seems to dislike him so but it bothers her. A lot. When Kate told her about the fight and that the engagement was obviously done, Cassidy approved (she never tells her that they fight about her). _Well, obviously it wasn't meant to be. I told you, Kate: you can't hide your true feelings_. That was the moment when Kate started second guessing her friendship with Cassidy.

Cassidy wants to be with Sawyer; Kate wants to be with Jack. She wonders if Cassidy will ever figure out that they're not the same person.


	40. Catharsis

**A/N: **Tomorrow is the one year anniversary since Jate was confirmed to be fate (to all those people who didn't believe that they were from the start :P) and the one year anniversary since Lost ended. A sad and happy day for all (mostly sad for me :() Anyways, this one takes place mostly _after_ the flash at the end where everyone goes to the afterlife/heaven/wherever.

**A/N 2:** For some reason, I picture everyone going to their own wooden cottage in the middle of the jungle on the Island. So...yeah.

_Catharsis_

Seeing Jack and acting completely calm is one of the hardest things she ever had to. She wishes he could just remember but of course, he's stubborn and will hold on to this fake reality because he's afraid what will happen if he questions it. A part of her didn't expect anything else.

When she touches his face for the first time in _years_, she wants to break down and laugh and cry at the same time. But he still won't let go and she needs to act calm and lead him to the church. But she wishes so much that her touch would wake him and he could just hold her in his arms before they go.

When he (finally) awakes and everyone is in the church hugging and smiling, she still feels like she shouldn't show what she's really feeling so she continues on calmly smiling.

After the bright light (that doesn't hurt her head like the last flash she went through), they're in a wooden cabin on the Island and while it might have been hell to them for years, it definitely feels like heaven now.

This is when she finally lets go and cries the tears she's been holding in for years and holds him so tight, she'd be afraid he'll have trouble breathing if they weren't dead already. He cries too and mumbles "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" over and over again. After living for years (being dead for him), it finally feels like they can breathe again.


	41. Forgiveness

**A/N:** Okay, here's the thing, I'm apologizing yet again because of my school life but now I'm on summer vacation which is all good. But, there is an issue. I'm slowly losing my interest in writing these prompts mostly because my muse won't cooperate at all when I want to write and I can't think of anything good for these prompts without sounding redundant. My solution to this problem? Breaks. There's going to be pretty big breaks between updates but I'm sure you guys are all used to it because I suck at updating. I'm also going to try to finish other fics I'm writing and start writing for other fandoms just to work with fresh ideas and material and, hey, maybe I'll get an idea for one of these prompts during those writings. This, however, does **not** mean I'm abandoning this at all. I just want you guys to have some decent stuff instead of some rubbish I wrote because I felt obligated to. I hope this doesn't frustrate anyone but I really doubt that would happen :P I still really appreciate your reviews and I'm glad that people are still enjoying this. I just really don't let you down :)

**A/N2: **This happens in 2x19 _S.O.S._ Also, I feel like I wrote them like teenagers. Sorry about that. But it does kinda fit with what was going on in that episode :P

_Forgiveness_

Things have been different between them since the kiss. She can feel it. She's sure he can too. Today they've trekked in the jungle together, got caught in a net, Jack yelled until his voice gave out and now they're sitting by a fire, just waiting. And not one mention of what happened between them.

She thinks he's mad at her for doing a stupid stunt like that. Hell, she _knows_; she can feel it. She should have controlled herself and now Jack's all uncomfortable and doesn't know to do and she's no better. Maybe if she apologizes, he'll forgive her and everything will go back to normal. That doesn't sound like a bad decision.

"I'm sorry I kissed you," (she's used to lying but this tastes bitter in her mouth).

She sees him move his head and she thinks that he's nodding as if he was waiting for her to say that since it happened.

"I'm not," he says and she can't help but stare at him.

He doesn't need to forgive her (well, for the kiss at least. The running is another issue) but now he thinks she regrets it. Her heart gets faster and she can feel words she's been wanting to say for awhile now rise up in her chest.

She isn't surprised when they get interrupted right when she was going to tell him the truth. This always happens with them.


	42. Nightmare

**A/N: **Wow, I have not updated for a year. I am terribly sorry about that. A lot of shit happened from then 'til now, in both personal and school-related aspects. One very important thing that happened as to why I haven't updated (or posted anything at all) is that my laptop crashed and I lost everything. And I mean _everything_. But now I have most things sorted out and I have been writing and I just felt like I really need to update this. I'm really sorry if it sucks though. I think you guys deserve the best after me just ditching you like that.

**A/N2: **I can't promise that I'll be updating super frequently. But I will promise that I will update and finish this stupid prompt table. I am determined.

**A/N3:** If any of you are waiting for the second part of "Nothing Goes as Planned", you may have to wait even longer. I lost all my notes I had for that, including my rough draft. I remember some plot points I was going to do but the way I'm feeling it, I'm not sure they'll work anymore. So bare with me.

* * *

_Nightmare_

She still has nightmares. Of course when her life has been a nightmare itself for three years (with some very, _very_ happy weeks thrown in to disorient her) it would be highly surprising if she didn't.

When they first arrive to her house, she sleeps dreamlessly. Maybe it's the exhaustion, the worry, the stress that wears down her mind. Maybe it's the fact that her house is haunted by living ghosts, each grasping at some sort of past life. Maybe it's the fact that she's now in charge of an insane woman who she vowed to return to her son. Whatever the reason, the first two nights are dreamless. Then again, the days themselves seem like dreams.

On the third night, the screaming starts.

She dreams that the monster snatched Jack from the window, not the pilot. That it was his body bloody and mangled in the tree above.

She dreams of Jack showing up on the doorstep, pale as death with blood smeared across his face.

She dreams that he turns into the monster and laughs at her as she pleads for him to remember who she is.

She dreams of him being captured, beaten and tortured by the Others while she tries to reach him through a glass wall.

She just dreams.

Two weeks later, the screams turn into gasps which Kate doesn't tell anyone about. Sawyer sighs with relief for he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night to sit with her and not talk about dead loved ones. Claire's hands stop shaking in the morning for she doesn't have to try to make tea to soothe them all. Miles doesn't say anything (he never did anyways. He doesn't understand, doesn't know how to react when the three of them sit in a bedroom that's too big for one person and don't say anything. He may have been through a lot but he could never fathom what these three survivors lived through). Frank and Richard are long gone, left the second morning they were in LA.

Kate doesn't tell them that her nightmares are still there, still haunt her every time she closes her eyes. She thinks they deserve this small relief.

She finds out she's pregnant and the nightmares slowly become less-than-happy dreams; dreams about Jack helping out with Aaron, dreams about Jack being the father she knew he could be, dreams about them finally being a happy family. They make her heart hurt and her eyes sting but it's better than hoarse voices and rough throats.

Sawyer leaves when they've been back six months, Miles following at his heels. He tells her to call if anything happens with the baby and leaves saying "If you need anything, Freckles, anything..." She nods and waves from her doorstep. Claire holds on to Aaron, who struggles towards Kate. She repeats for not the first time that she is not his mother, but Auntie Kate. It tears a new hole in heart every time.

When she's in her last month of pregnancy she dreams that she's giving birth in the jungle alone. She cries for someone to help her but no one ever comes. She hears Jack behind her saying that he can't fix this, that there's nothing he can do. She begs him to help, saying that of course he can fix this, but he doesn't come forward and she can't see him and she screams and screams. Aaron is the one to wake her. She grabs him and sobs into his nightshirt. She's not sure she can do this alone.

David is born with no complications. Claire still hovers at the door and Aaron is interested in everything. Sawyer visits ("he looks just like the doc") and Miles sends her flowers. She cries, a mixture of both happiness and sadness, and tells everyone that she's alright. No one believes her but they say nothing.

Her nightmares stay with her for the rest of her life. She still sees the vivid blues and greens of the Island, still smell the salt in the air that makes her want to puke. She still treads the familiar paths and she still sees Jack, sometimes whole, sometimes not. She watches him burn and she watches him spit out blood; she watches him die a thousand ways and she watches him turn into something she fears. She looks for him, with a baby in her arms that looks just like him, screaming for him to appear. She hears him – sometimes a whisper, sometimes a yell – but never sees him.

She still has nightmares. Of course when her life has been a nightmare itself for three years (with some very, _very_ happy weeks thrown in to disorient her) it would be highly surprising if she didn't.


End file.
